Symbearotica

A good start for your first vn... I'm sure it was a great learning experience. 😅

I know you have far more ambitious future stories in mind, and hopefully taking this first big step will help you feel more confident with those in the future.

I'm glad you told the story you wanted to tell; for my first attempt at making a vn, the most eye-opening part was sitting through watching others read through and comment on it, but ultimately, I know it helped me to see my shortcomings and start improving.

(For full disclosure, I did assist with some custom art assets and proofreading some parts of the script).

This one is interesting!

The plot ideas are good, but it needs work on the execution.
I'll give you some notes if you want to take them

SPOILERS BELOW

A trans bear character, and a shapeshifting goo-thing with a mysterious past who get in a romantic/sexual relationship.
That sounds great!

However, the story is missing many points.
Why does the bear have the goo?
Where did he got it from?
Why does he have a lab-coat thingy if he works in retail?
Why does the goo know so many advanced concepts?
We barely know anything of the characters.

All these points don't need to be answered, but them being implied or having a plausible reason would help the story a lot.
Adding this information could also improve the pacing of the story.

Political issues are mentioned, but not really addressed.
It would have been better if these were only implied in this case.
Otherwise, it may be better to explain or imply why these political issues are issues, and why it creates a reaction.

The sexual scene is awkward as it doesn't fall in either a graphic or vague scene.
It can be made graphic by adding a lot of descriptions of touch, sensations, and movement.
It can be made vague by only mentioning that it happened, and the feeling it caused.
Both can be enhanced with a picture, but it is not necessary

A nice self-contained little story, with a fair bit of heart behind it. The project could benefit from some additional copy editing; and it would have been nice to see some more exploration of the blob’s nature or origins as their bond with the bear grows deeper. Overall a good story that would benefit from a bit more polish.

The game seems to have a premise about transsexuality.

A representation of self-acceptance and your likes.

Although the game tries to do this along with references to politics I feel that the execution is not that good.

I wouldn't be able to give some suggestions on how to improve or expand it since it's the first time I play a visual novel related to this theme, perhaps it could focus on better interaction or a broader self-discovery not only of the protagonist, but also of the character that accompanies him.

Finally, it would be to improve the grammar and make a few corrections to the text.

But still great game, but it can improve as I said.

An enjoyable read! I liked how you described the blob growing and experimenting with its appearance and form, definitely a unique point of view for a protagonist. The title and background looked nice as well, I always appreciate seeing something hand-drawn, as opposed to stock images (which I'm guilty of, haha!) 

I think the romance element came a bit quick, it felt like the characters had barely gotten to know each other. The writing itself could use a bit of cleaning-up and formatting, it felt like plot points happened one after the other, without giving the player time to breathe and digest the information. While I could feel the worry and anxiety of the characters over the political situation, it felt like it needed a bit more for it to really sink in.

Overall, it was a short and sweet story, with a lot of interesting ideas. Looking forward to whatever you make next! <3

I intend to continue updating?